


Instinct

by trillingstar



Series: Forest!Verse [3]
Category: Law & Order: SVU, Oz (1997)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Wordcount: Over 10.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-06-06
Updated: 2008-08-24
Packaged: 2017-10-06 18:22:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trillingstar/pseuds/trillingstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sex, brooding and grifting. Whee-hoo.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is sort of a remix of 'Into the Woods,' actually, from Keller's POV. Three parts smut, two parts other goodness.  
> Thank you to Badtyler for the beta and Colleendetroit for the graphics.  
> 

After I've taken care of that scumbag Parrett, I'm walking back to the truck and I think I see something. Somebody. And there shouldn't be anyone out here, 'cause I'm in the middle of the fuckin' woods and nobody's supposed to know I'm here. So I watch for a minute, and yep – it's some guy, with a **shirt** on his head, wearing sneakers with dress pants, weaving around in the middle of the dirt road. Huh.

So I step out of the woods real quiet, 'cause I don't wanna freak him out too much until I know why he's there and then I see he's got his eyes closed. If one of us doesn't change course, he's gonna bump right into me, but that'll only surprise him.

And he does - smacks right into me and bounces back a couple of steps, eyes bugging out. His mouth falls open and he kinda squints like he's sure I'm not really there. He looks like he's about to bolt, so I step towards him and tell him what a nice hat he's got. I mean, there's a shirt all wound up on his head. There's humor in that!

He blushes so pretty my dick takes notice and twitches in my jeans. He's just staring at me, like he's cataloguing my face or something, like he thinks he might have seen me somewhere before, but I sure as hell know I've never seen him.

And he's eyeing my water bottle as if he'd drop to his knees for it, and ain't **that** a prettier picture?

He licks his lips so I ask him if he wants some and he rips the bottle outta my hand and gulps it down. The water helps him get his bearings; we introduce ourselves and my brain sears a picture of him into my memory: Toby. I never forget a face or a name. Part of the package.

I find out he's lost and all alone and I know exactly how this is gonna go. I like that he knows he's on shaky ground and then squares himself up 'cause that means he's got some balls. Maybe he's not just another turd in a suit. So I let him see something in my eyes when I look at him, and he's confused, but he'll catch on. We stare at each other for a few seconds and he breaks eye contact first – they always do – and then he looks at my mouth, and that's it – his ass is **mine**. That's confirmed the minute he follows me into the woods.  


***

I can hear him panting behind me. Makes me wanna put a little swing in my hips, 'cause god knows this ass is gorgeous. I've heard it enough to believe it, and hell, who hasn't stood in front of the mirror on occasion? Vanity's not a sin for nothing.

He's anxious now, and it's like I can hear his thoughts without even having to see him. Another reason I'm good at what I do. So I turn back and flash him one of my biggest smiles, and I almost burst out laughing when he trips and falls flat on his face, the wind knocked out of his lungs. Well, he's no good to me if he's not breathing, so I go back and pat his hair and murmur some reassuring shit about how he's fine and it's gonna be okay.

I get him upright and he's still hesitant and asks where we're going. Truck, remember? I'm takin' **you** for a ride. He's so pretty when he blushes, innocence spread thick all over. I look closer and he's still unsure, but there's a little spark in his eyes and I know he's startin' to get it.

We're walking again and I'm pretty sure he's not gonna go back, but I ask him some stuff anyway so he can see how very harmless I am. Blah blah, no family around, blah blah, lawyer. Hmm. Lawyers are usually pretty observant; I'll keep that in mind. He talks about some dumb chick who wouldn't marry him, and that turns into a story about a quickie he had with a cop. A cop and a defense lawyer. Yea, that'll end in bluebirds and sunshine.

He pauses like he's embarrassed, so I know there's something there. I dig a little, and what d'ya know, ol' Toby's been batting for the other team. This day just keeps getting better. And he looks conflicted about that, so I wink at him and give him a smile with a little bit of a leer, just enough that he gets flustered. Blush goes nicely with his light blue eyes and dark blond curls. I think I'll try and make him flush some more… shouldn't really be too hard.  


***

We get to the truck and I hand him another bottle of water, and I watch him as he practically inhales it. He's got his eyes closed again, so I step up real close to his body and when he opens his eyes our faces are about four inches apart. He's got the deer in headlights look, but he doesn't move, and I know he's been thinking about what I wanted him to. Breakthrough. He gets it, even if he doesn't **know** it yet.

I lay it out for him: I'm helpin' him, so he's gonna help me. Shoulda known he'd try and give me his watch. Yea, I don't want your watch, Tobe, I wanna watch **you**. That goes over like a freebie at a whorehouse and when I look him in the eyes again, I can see he's layin' out the welcome mat. God, I'm good.

I can practically see the gears turning in his mind and then he reaches out and strokes his fingers down my tattoo and **goddamn** I have to stop myself from gettin' too grabby right away. But then he doesn't do anything else and I know I'm going to have to be the one to move things along. So I pick him up, spin us around, and go right for his mouth. Experimental guys always like the kissing, makes 'em feel safer, more connected. Toby and me? Oh yea, we're definitely gonna connect.

But I don't kiss him the way I want to, 'cause it's obvious he's pretty much inexperienced when it comes to kissing guys. I'm happy to show him the ropes. Not every guy will kiss. Something tightens in my chest when I think about him kissing someone else, and whoa, Keller, because faithful is definitely one thing I am not. Possessive to the point of pissing people off, oh yea. My cake **and** yours? Absolutely. No need to share that, though. Not when Toby's makin' these tasty little noises and it's like I can see his defenses just tumbling down.

So I give him the reins to the kiss, and he says giddy-up, and the second his mouth opens, I know I'm in; I take what he offers me and then some. When we finally break apart, I can see in his eyes that he's vulnerable and aching for it. Seems he's abandoned all coherent thoughts and I want to find his weaknesses while he's compromised. I whisper to him, stressing the 'payment', just to see, and he falls to his knees so fast it's as if someone's kicked him from behind. Hmm. Now, that could be 'cause there's a hungry little whore inside him; it could be 'cause he's an honest man who knows nothing's free. I like both possibilities.  


***

Gotta say, Tobe's fucking pretty as hell rocking back on his heels, staring up at me with those big blue eyes. My dick's right in his face by now, and if I didn't know better, I'd say he's a cocktease, ignoring what I want him to do. But I do know better – he's just nervous, so I let him play around for a while. I touch his hair and the back of his head, sucking in a breath when his tongue swipes across my balls. He **is** observant, 'cause he does that for a few minutes, and then tries to get 'em both into his mouth at once and seeing that makes my dick jerk and leak.

I can tell he needs more encouragement, so I haul him up for more of those safety pecks that turn into hot, slippery kisses almost instantly. Mmm, Toby. I get his shirt up far enough to rub all over his nipples, and I feel his fingers on my dick so I reward him by pinching the nubs, and he groans and **fuck**, this is gonna be a hell of a lot more than a blowjob. I scratch at his dick through his pants and already he's writhing around.

And then his body says stop, and things grind to a halt. I narrow my eyes at him, because there's a difference between being a bit of a cocktease and stopping after you've already said yes. There's no going back with me; I don't start anything I'm not gonna finish, and you better not either, baby. Turns out he's just got the armrest digging into his back so I move us around. He's watching me carefully now, his brain sending signals to be alert, so I use my eyes to convey more desire. I'm relieved I don't have to use the shovel again today.

He starts to undo his pants, but uh-uh, we're not there yet, Tobe. Not until I get my dick in past those pretty pink lips. Time to find out if he's got the potential to be **my** whore, and I make my next words into an order, telling him flat-out to suck my dick. When he opens right up and my dick slides into the wet warmth of his mouth, I can't help the self-satisfied grin that stretches across my face. Oh, hell yea. I should go into the woods more often, if this is what I'm gonna find.  
  



	2. Chapter 2

I'm holding myself back from thrusting into his throat like I want to, but I can't help myself when he sucks a little harder than before. Oops. That was too much, and now I can see he's embarrassed that he choked a little, so I touch my fingers to his face and tickle him under the chin, trying to get him to look up at me. I have on my most reassuring, everything's gonna be a-okay expression, but he keeps his head bowed. That kinda makes me like him more, 'cause it's plain he's thinking about the best way to do this, and I can appreciate a man who thinks things through.

He's hittin' his stride now, all those things he's always been curious about coming out for my pleasure. And I like that he's trying his hardest, 'cause that means he's not even a little suspicious and hey, who doesn't like an enthusiastic suck. So I let him know how much I like it by telling him, groaning in approval and tugging on his hair, saying whatever comes to mind about how great his mouth feels on my dick. I think he likes that, 'cause his response is immediate and I reap the benefits. He's bobbing his head faster now, and I watch him reach down and rub at himself through his pants. Oh, Toby… now, that's hot. And then he takes more of my dick into his mouth and I'm resting right at the back of his tongue and I can't do anything about the way my hips move forward all by themselves. God, yea. Except I choke him again, so I ease back, 'cause now I know he won't stop again until I come. He looks up at me and there must be something in my stare that he feels all over, since his whole body quivers, right there in front of me, and he doesn't even try to control it. He's sucking in big breaths and there's a determined glint in his eyes.

I look at him speculatively. Hmm, maybe it's time for a little challenge, so I give him a taste of a dare. And the little bitch actually smirks at me before slurping his way right back onto my dick. I'm in further than before, and he's licking me all over and I groan. I'm on the verge of grabbing the back of his head and just pushing my way in; a split second later I nearly yell 'cause he's sealed his lips around me and has pushed forward so far I can feel his throat muscles hugging all around me, and damn it feels good. So I tell him that, too.

But I think he's reached his limit, and it only makes me hornier that he keeps trying. Yea, there's a slut in there, just waiting to be set free. Can't believe I'm the first to draw him out. And then my hand's clutching at the back of his skull because his instincts kick in and he's swallowed me down and I don't even care if he chokes, I'm not leaving that tight, wet heaven. I instruct him to do it again, and a moment later, he does. He's so **willing**. I'm stuffing my dick down his throat and he's not complaining about the tight grip I have in his hair or the fact that he's probably needing more oxygen right about now. Suddenly I'm so close to orgasm I can barely think. That's one of **my** triggers.

His tongue is busy now, dancing up and down my shaft, and when he swallows again, I feel his fingers on my balls, and I'm done. I come in a shudder straight down his throat and I don't move my hands until I'm completely spent. Of course he takes it. That's his nature.

Now, **that** kind of performance gets rewarded. I drag him up onto his feet and lick my way into his mouth. He pushes at my tongue with his and we swap the taste of my cum back and forth. He's shivering and I can see how badly he wants to come, but he doesn't know how to ask for it yet, and I'm not gonna tell him. We get his pants off and his whole body tenses when I touch his dick. Taking his hand, I help him rub our cocks together. I'm getting hard again, and I want him to fully understand that's because of him. When I tighten my grip around him, he throws his head back, and I take that as an invitation to lick at his chest and nipples. Yea, he likes that, doesn't even flinch when I stroke my fingers down between his ass cheeks. Makes me wanna tie him down, lick and bite at those hard tan nipples for hours, see if I can make him come just from that.

Oh. I was wrong, he does know how to ask for some things, and in just the right way, too. He asks me to suck his dick, and I've already got the tip of it in my mouth, and I swear, his begging is one of the best sounds I've ever heard. Yea, another trigger, but this one's more particular, and usually I prefer it when they keep their words to themselves: they should be listening to **me**. But Toby's combination of eagerness and inexperience makes me wanna know every thought going through his head. I swallow him down, let him feel how good it is to have his dick in my throat, and I sweep my fingers over his asshole as I do it. He shudders all over, and I'm ready to fuck him now.

He's confused when I stop, stand up and push him onto his knees again, but I gotta show him I'm the one in control here. We're doing this 'cause **I** want it, not the other way around. I rub my dick all over his face and Christ, he **lets** me, stunned blue eyes blinking slowly. Told ya, it's in his nature. Jacking my cock, I tell him to get in the back of the truck. He's up and moving before I finish the sentence and all I can do is stare at his pert ass; all I want is to drive in deep and feel him thrash around beneath me.

Naked, he sits on the tailgate, swinging his legs as if he's totally carefree, and when he sees me watching him, he shoots me an anticipatory grin so big and bright that I smile back reflexively. He's so **pure**. He looks like there's nowhere else he'd rather be.

I haul him up over the hay bale and then I stand up, stroking myself again and letting my lust for him show plainly on my face. I kneel down and suck his dick back into my mouth, but I can tell I waited too long, 'cause his gears are turning again and now he's nervous. I give him my word he's gonna like this, and now he's just going to have to trust me, because there's hardly anything better on this earth than getting a rimjob from me.

When I stick my tongue inside him, he bucks up but I've got an arm across his hips and he ain't going anywhere. And after that, there's a long silence punctuated only by the noises I'm making while I eat him out. Just a little more, and he's gonna open his mouth and give me some words. Here they come. Aw, yea, Toby, tell me more. I love how his voice cracks and goes up a couple octaves as he yells out my name. Told ya, baby. Only thing better is my dick in your ass, and we're almost there.

I curl my tongue up and stroke into him. I tell him how good he tastes and it's a flood of words after that: so good, so hot, fuck, wow, shit, god, baby… Baby? I raise an eyebrow and chuckle. Aw, Tobe. Don't go getting attached, now. I spit on his balls and watch it roll down to his wet hole, and then I'm licking him again. I'm telling the truth: he does taste good. He's trying not to push his ass into my face, and while I appreciate that, I also wanna see him come.

His responses are so unforced and basic; I've reduced him to primal grunts and gasps and I let him know what's gonna happen next. Can't wait to be inside him, his tight asshole clenching around my dick. Then I pull away, touching myself all over, jacking myself off, and watching him watch me. Yea, trigger number three. I love showing off for a rapt audience, and it looks like it would take a nuclear blast to drag Toby's eyes away from me. I hold off touching him; I'm curious about what he's willing to do or say to get me back over there.

Fucking shit. That's gotta be one of the hottest things I've ever heard anyone say to me, and it's partly the words themselves, but mostly it's how he says it: needy, shy, anxious and horny tied up with leather string and there's a daydream to explore with him as the star. Cuffs, maybe. No, too much. That'd scare him. Okay, a collar. Nah, way too much. Sticking a plug right up his ass, shoehorning him into a pair of tight leather pants and taking him out to a club. Yea, that one. I'm thinkin' this even as I'm tonguing his hole again, and Toby's thighs are trembling and oh, here he comes. I sit back and meet his wild-eyed stare with a look of supreme calmness just as I shove my finger up his ass and yea, he's done. I can't look away as he shakes and shudders and whines. My finger feels like it's being crushed, and my dick throbs in response.  


***


	3. Chapter 3

Finally he slumps, lying boneless in the bed, then I shove him around until he's flat on his back, his trusting eyes tracking my every move. I run my fingers through the cum on his belly and touch myself, then lick my fingers clean. His body trembles when I get a rubber, and then our eyes lock again while I'm rolling it down onto my dick. I lick him a couple of times, so he remembers why we're here. For whatever reason, I want to take it slow with Toby; guess I'm in a good mood today – got a new truck and found a new whore – new's always best.

And here's Toby – spread out for me, panting and trying to swallow his moans, 'cause I'm just resting there, my dick by his asshole, watching him while he scrunches up his face, looking like I'm about to do something he's not sure he wants. But **I** know what he wants. He's been begging for my dick since we met on the road, and he looks fuckable as hell right now, and bet I can make him want it just as much as I do. Lowering my voice, I tell the slut just what he needs to hear. And he shudders all over, and I know I'm right. Again.

But I wait until he looks at me, 'cause that way he'll never think I forced anything on him. He'll always know it was his choice, and he's lucky I am in such a good mood. This day's been all about choices.

Holy **shit**, he's fucking tight, and it's scalding inside of him. It's been at least a few months since I fucked a virgin, and that was a woman. No slut there, just a bet with some buddies. Mighta even been one of their sisters; god knows she needed to get laid. Frilly shirts and this whole chip on her shoulder righteousness.

I'm even more turned on knowing I'm Toby's first; it's a thrill sticking my dick somewhere no one else has ever been. And he'll **always** remember me.

Uh-oh. Toby's trying to back away now, but it's his own fault, he shoulda told me he's never gotten fucked before. So I tighten my grip on his hips and start in with that reassuring crap from before. He calms down enough that he starts breathing again, and I chastise him for not telling me. Damn, the bitch has balls. That's kinda growing on me, to tell the truth. He's still my pussy, though, and I'm gonna use him like one.

I call him on that bluff, and push in a little harder until he squeaks and glares, and I gotta chuckle, 'cause he's fucking cute when he's pissed. He's flushed and his eyes show me exactly what he's thinking. And after I lube up and push back in, his eyes tell me he's not loving this… yet. Don't worry, Toby, I'm gonna take care of that. There's a reason he's gonna be my cockslut, and he's about to find out exactly why. I speed up, go a little deeper each time. Then – **surprise** \- his mouth falls open, he gasps sharply, and his dick jerks up toward his stomach. So I do it again, his eyes are wide open now and there's a noise kinda like a purr coming from his throat. Told ya I know what he needs. He's starting to move now, pushing back up against me, and this is just the beginning. Already, he wants more.

'Cause I'm a prick, I tease him, and what do I get? His ass squeezes tight around me and I groan, because **goddamn**. Still, I wanna make him say it, so I keep up a steady rhythm and shallow pressure. Next, he whines, but it's obvious that doesn't have any effect on me. And then his eyes flash and he gives me this look, like how fuckin' stupid are you. So I lean in close and show him a smile that's all teeth and purpose, and get to work.

I'm pretty happy with the results: his mouth opens on a pant, his hands are hot against my skin and he meets my thrusts halfway. He's unbelievably tight and I wanna take him home with me and keep him chained to the bed. I want to show him everything I was taught and then some, keep him on the edge of orgasm for as long as I can stand it, fuck him open 'til he's loose, make him dirty on top of all that pure. Make him beg for my dick, grovel in front of me and plead to come. Make him want me above anyone else.

Toby bites down on my bottom lip and sucks it hard. I shove my tongue into his mouth and we kiss some more until he breaks away to breathe. His voice is rusty and needy; I picture him lying spread-eagle across a bed, hips thrusting up into empty air, hair tousled and a sheen of sweat covering his entire body. I look at him. His eyes are half-closed and I can almost track the path his pleasure takes, rolling down his body and forcing him to speak. Surging into his body, my dick presses against his prostate with every thrust and all I can think is that I want **more**. More of this slut, more of this body, his words, our kisses.

I kneel up and wrestle his legs close to his chest. He keeps them there, and he watches as I grab hold of my own ass to help myself shove into him harder. I'm grunting a little and grinding down into him and I tell him how good he feels and how tight he is. I study him, still giving as good as he can, thrashing and moaning beneath me. Yea, I struck gold here. I'm thinking about other ways I can make him groan and beg and he throws his legs out to the sides so I grab onto his feet and bring them up to my shoulders. I slow down and push his thighs together so I can really drill him deep. Yea, he likes that too. 'Course there hasn't been anything he hasn't liked, which only makes me wanna fuck him more.

My dick protests, but I pull out and help Toby roll over onto his knees and elbows. I slick myself up again and use my thumbs to spread him open like the whore he is, for all the world to see, before sinking in deep again.  


***

Soon as we're not lookin' at each other anymore, I can feel Toby tremble against me and I know he's nervous again. He's still pushing that sweet ass back against me, but it's more like reflex than lust, so I reach around – his dick's still semi-hard and my fingers press up against his balls. He tries to jerk himself while I'm doing that, but I wrap an arm around his waist and haul him up to his hands and knees so he can't touch himself; that's mine, baby, I'll take care of you. Jesus, he's tight. The change in angle has him squirming and squeezing in all the right places and it's a real effort to keep a steady pace. I grab his hips and start pounding away at his ass; I know I'm gonna come pretty soon and I got to have more of this pussy first. It's rougher on Toby, but then he's moving even more, pushing back harder, and I hear him tellin' me how much he likes it. Fuck yea. I watch as my dick pulls slowly out of his grasping asshole and then I shove back in, so hot and good.

Something inside me **roars** in pleasure, I'm feelin' so possessive right now I wanna bite his neck as I fuck him, like a coupla lions or some shit, holdin' him down, tell him it's okay to give in, that only the strong have something to give up in the first place. I'm talking too, stuff like how good he feels beneath me and how his ass is mine. I know he hears what I'm sayin' because he freezes for a second, every muscle in his body tensed. It feels like he's trying to suck me into his body through his ass. The next second he relaxes again, and ohhh, fuck, he's definitely mine: **my** whore, **my** slut. I'm not letting this one go far.

He's got me inside him so tight I have to practically rip my dick outta his hole, and his disappointed sob makes my stomach flip. I know I sound cajoling when I tell him I gotta see his face when I make him come, when I promise I'll make him come soon; I can't help it, I wanna know he'll remember this – **me** – forever. I bend down so I can kiss him again, lightly scratching my fingernails over his chest and thighs. He's so out of it that he arches right up and I whisper to him as he opens up for my dick, lets me slide right in without any resistance.

He's groaning my name, begging for me, my dick, how I make him feel. His ass is so slick and hot I can really fuck into him now. I'm panting against his neck, right over his collarbone where I want to gnaw and bite and mark him as mine. His heels dig into my ass and his dick pushes up against my abs insistently so I grab hold of it and jerk him roughly. His whole body tightens, the cords in his neck standing out as his head rolls back and he's so close I wanna do everything I can to make it the best fuckin' orgasm he's ever had.

Timing's everything, baby. I lean back, wet a finger and push it inside Toby alongside my dick. I rub hard on his prostate and a split second later, he yells, shudders hard and comes. His head hits the bed of the truck and cum lands on his stomach. I keep my finger inside him for a while longer, until he shivers and slowly opens his eyes.

My turn, sweet slut. I let go of his cock and pull my finger out. I wrap my arms around him as I let myself go. I'm shoving into him as hard as I think he can take it, lunging forward again and again. Toby's doing his best to suck my jizz out by clenching his ass around me. I can hear myself grunting and next thing I know I've yelled out his name and I'm ready to come. I whip off the rubber even as I'm pulling out and I stroke myself hard. He's watching me closely, but then the bitch's eyes flutter shut and I growl menacingly. He reopens 'em just in time to see me coming, my orgasm rippling up my body and I shoot all over him. Yea, you don't wanna miss a single second of **this**, Tobe. I lean forward again and take both of our dicks in my hand, rubbing mine up against his and he groans and shudders all over as another shot of cum dribbles from his cock.

This is the most relaxed I've felt in months. I grin at him. He quivers when I touch the pad of my finger to his sensitive hole. He's still so spaced out that he doesn't move, and his eyes don't show nothin' but contentment. I collect some of our cum on my finger from his chest and touch his bottom lip, dragging it back and forth until Toby opens his mouth and sucks my finger in.

**Fuck**, that's hot. Such a good little slut.

I do it again until he's cleaned most of our cum off his body and then use the blanket to wipe in the rest. I sniff at him, licking up from his nipple to the pulse at the base of his neck. He smells good. He smells like me.

Don't worry, Tobe, I'll see you again. You can count on it.  


***


	4. Chapter 4

After I drop Toby off at some garage on the outskirts of a little hill town, I point the truck northwest and head off to this cabin I know about upstate. It's not mine, but it doesn't belong to anyone else right now, and I have some work to do. Obviously I'm not going back to the school; someone might notice and remember that I wasn't really supposed to be there. I don't think Parrett would have noted our appointment in his day planner though, not after what – and **who** – I promised would be there.

Sprawled back against the seat, I roll the window down. I'm feelin' boneless and about two steps away from happy right now. That feeling shouldn't be interfering with the way the plan keeps circling in my head while I review and make sure it's absolutely air-tight... but, it is. I think about how I told Toby that I'd see him again, and the longing and disbelief written across his face. He shouldn't be so surprised – it's a well-known fact men do stupid things for their dicks, **especially** if that stupid thing is the best piece of ass they've had in a long time. I'd devote some time to wondering about what set him apart from the others lately, but he's really not **that** important and I gotta concentrate on seein' the rest of this plan through. Doesn't mean I won't think about him later when I jerk off, though.

The radio's tuned into a classic rock station, the sun's setting and I hang one arm out the window into the cool air. Coupla more hours to go, and I've gotta go over the plan just one more time.  


***

That night, I dreamed about Parrett. It wasn't a good dream. He was bendin' over my bed, that horrible leer on his face, and he was whispering to me, stuff about good boys and that he always knew I wasn't no good, and to go on and show him how bad I really am. I knew that he wasn't really there, 'cause I killed him and buried him in the woods today, but it still felt like he was. When I woke up, I turned automatically to look for the guy in the cot next to mine, praying that I wasn't cryin' out in my sleep. But of course I was alone in the cabin, so I felt a huge wallop of relief when I realized that. I haven't had that dream in a long time.

I fell asleep so quick that I didn't even jerk off and now my cock's hard, but it's that _dirtyhard_, not anything like when I was with Toby... now **he's** a good boy. Parrett never woulda had the balls to touch him, but then, Toby'd never have ended up at a school for delinquents. Hill School. Right. More like Hell School, where the teenage outcasts get sent – outta sight, outta mind. After I'd left, I hadn't given that place a second thought until the kind doctor called me up. Hell of a shock, and then he told me that they needed a new residence assistant in one of the dorms, and he thought I fit the bill. Where he found my number I got no idea. I made it crystal clear to him right away that I wasn't available like that no more, but he didn't care 'cause I'd gotten too old anyway.

I got along real well with the kids at Hill School. Most of them reminded me of myself at that age: a whole lot of swagger and not much else, just trying to get through each day. So I guess Parrett was right, and it was kinda strange, the way I fit right back in. It wasn't like I'd never left, fuck no, but when I came back, I knew how to talk smoother and give a more convincing performance. It's probably fucked up, but I felt like I really could have helped some of those kids, if I'd been able to stay longer.

The first time after I went back that I seen him going into some poor kid's room after hours, I knew I had to deal with him, and I did. Sick bastard thought he could still control me, but it's been a lot of years since I was sixteen and I'm sure as hell not gonna be shamed into keeping quiet by some old perv who's probably been doing this shit for decades. Still didn't mean I wanted to get caught, though. Vigilante justice ain't exactly holding up in court these days.

I waited a while, made him think I was on his side, that I was gonna let him do whatever the fuck he pleased. I plastered a smile on my face whenever he was around, stroked his ego, made him feel safe with me by his side. I can pinpoint the exact moment when I knew I was gonna have to whack him. He mighta fucked me up in a lot of ways, but I ain't never gonna force myself on a **kid**, for fuck's sake.

I didn't hang out with the teachers much, but I played hoops with a couple of them after classes, and that's how I met Sara. Her dad taught History, and she was working as the receptionist while she finished community college. She was nice enough, a little young for me, but she held the keys to all of the office filing cabinets; I started flirting with her right after I knew I'd have to deal with the doc, and it ain't for nothing that I can charm the habit off a nun. I found out where all the employee paperwork was and where she kept those keys; after that, it was easy enough to put a backdated letter of resignation into my file. As far as the school was concerned, I packed up and left two days before I met up with Parrett along the side of the road.

When I told him I got him a surprise, he was smiling, and when he saw a couple of blankets, a cooler and my duffle in the truck's bed, he smiled even wider. He had that idiotic grin on his face right up to the end; at first he thought I was kidding when I knocked him out and tied him to that log, and after he woke up I **know** he kept waiting for the boys I'd talked about to magically appear in the clearing and go to their knees in front of him.

The urge to beat him unrecognizable was so strong, but I couldn't risk that much blood spatter, spit and skin. Instead, I pulled on a pair of workgloves and strangled the life out of him, which was still intensely satisfying. I peeled off the workgloves but left the latex ones on, then I poured bleach over everything I'd touched, including him, the log and the ropes. I did my research: forensics can track fibers from the gloves, the ropes, a single droplet of sweat, practically anything at all. Then I dug a fire pit around them and torched it all. I'd scoped out the spot earlier, so I knew the smoke wouldn't be a problem. It took a lot longer for his body to burn up than I thought it would.

I even wore boots a size too small in case it didn't rain right away. I knew it would be a while before his bones were found, but I couldn't be absolutely sure of that. I burned all the clothes I was wearing including my boots and the latex gloves after I was sure I'd gotten **everything** into that fire. And when the flames finally died down, and the smell started to clear, I bleached the smoking pile again and buried it all under about eight feet of dirt. I stood on the passenger side mat and poured bottles of water over myself, and after I changed into clean clothes I felt like I'd just purified myself. I made it through the fire and probably saved some kids' futures at the same time.

I kept his wallet, even thought I probably shouldn't have, 'cause that's like a trophy or some shit. But I didn't open it or get any prints on it, and I'm gonna toss that and the mat into the river just as soon as I'm done cleaning out the truck.

I think I covered my tracks pretty well.  


***

As soon as I set eyes on him, I know this is the man who fucked around with Toby. No wonder that fuckin' **slut** studied my face as if he knew me when we first met. How could he have resisted?

He's a little bigger than me, broader shoulders maybe, or a heavier gut. But fuck, he looks like me in every other way: gorgeous. Gotta say, it's a hell of a surprise when he taps on my window. My head's turned away and when I look over, we both freeze and stare at one another until I finally push the button to lower the glass. We keep staring, 'cause it's practically like looking into a goddamn **mirror** and he finally breaks the silence. "License and registration." Even his voice sounds just like mine.

He's not dressed like a traffic cop though, so I ask to see some ID. Just because he got out of a cop car don't mean he's a cop, and I know my rights. He glares at me, but reaches into his coat pocket and brings out his badge. He starts to flash it, but I reach out quickly and grab his wrist, pulling at his arm to bring both him and the badge closer. He starts to jerk back immediately, but I won't release him and he steps closer.

"Let go of me." An icy tone to match his blank face. He covers the shock real well, and I'm a little impressed. I still hold on, though, and study the badge. Detective Stabler, 6313. I let him go just when he looks like he's about to bash my face in.

"So what's the problem, Detective?"

"License and **registration**," he repeats.

I flash him what must be a familiar smile. He shakes his head. "Out. Get out," he says. I look him over again: I can already see that he's a lot like me in other ways, too. Authoritative, likes to be in control, uses his smile to get what he wants.

I raise my hands in mock surrender, and then start to reach over to the glove box. His hand goes right to his gun. "It's cool, hey, I've gotta look for the paperwork." He relaxes fractionally but the heel of his palm still rests on the strap. Easy does it, Keller. "You gonna answer my question, **Detective**?" I say smoothly. He shakes his head like he's already forgotten it. "What'd I do wrong?" I inject some humor into my tone.

He's bound by law to answer me, but I can see in his eyes that this one don't always play by the rules. Bet Toby had fun with **that**.

Stabler mutters some bullshit excuse for pulling me over, but I already know what this is about. Fuck, I shoulda dumped the truck earlier. It's clean, but... I'd been feeling invincible. It's a pain in my ass to go through this, and now they'll be looking at me for whatever they think they can catch me on. Not that there's anything to find; I made sure of that.

I fish around in the glove box for a few minutes, then triumphantly pull out the little scrap of paper saying it's Parrett's truck. I hand it over to Stabler, but he still makes me get out and lean over the hood. Then there are a couple other cops there too and one of 'em pats me down, finds my wallet and hands it to me.

Already we're blocking traffic, but Stabler's in no hurry and he says it again: "License." Well, what the fuck choice do I have? I get it out and start to hand it to him, and he grabs hold of my wrist and pulls me closer. Motherfucker. He keeps a tight hold on my hand while he looks it over. "Christopher Keller. You're a long way from home." He looks smug now, and it doesn't even seem to faze him that he's talkin' to someone who could easily pass for his goddamn brother.

He lets go of my hand and I stash my wallet back in my pocket, but I just look at him and shrug, 'cause cops – they always like to get you talking, get you to explain things that don't need explaining, try to see what'll fall outta your mouth if you're nervous and riled up.

We stare at each other a little longer and then he makes this huffing noise and says, "Why don't you come down to the station so we can sort all this out." But it's not a question.

I hook my fingers in my pockets and lean back against the hood of the truck, like we're two old buddies just standin' around shooting the shit. I let my eyes wander from the top of his head all the way down to his shoes. "Oh, **brother**," I say, cheeky and a little sad at the same time. "I'm gonna have to pass." Like I have some other place to be.

He steps up real close to me then, trying to use his bulk to intimidate me, but who the hell does he think he's fooling? **Look** at me. "It wasn't a request," he grates out, and next thing I know I'm cuffed, Mirandized and being pushed into the back of an unmarked car. Well, shit.

As soon as the door closes, my mouth's shut, and ain't nothing I'm gonna say that will make him happy. In fact, I don't have anything to say other than Parrett lent me the truck and fuck if they can prove any different.

***

There are a bunch of reporters there by the time we get moving and there's even a goddamn helicopter. A tow truck is idling at the corner and I grin 'cause there ain't nothin' to find in that pickup. Shit, they'll have fun tearing it apart though. I look up and Stabler's watching me in the rearview. I know he saw me smile, so I laugh a little. His brows knit together further and then we're hurtling down the street so fast even the cop in the passenger seat braces herself against the door.

She's got pretty big tits for her size. Wonder if they're real. Wonder if Stabler knows if they're real. Huh. I'll have to ask him. Then I remember I'm keepin' my mouth closed. I laugh again as the car screeches to a stop and I almost whack my forehead on the divider. Oh, Stabler, it's like foreplay, baby. He's kinda turning me on.

***

Every cop in the place does a fucking double take as we march through the doors. I smile real wide at Stabler. "We're pretty, ain't we?" He jerks on my elbow and increases the length of his stride.

We get into one of the interrogation rooms and we're all just standin' there, so I rattle the cuffs. He stares at me, but the woman goes around behind me, takes off the handcuffs, and asks me if I want anything to drink. I give her one of my sweetest smiles but decline, then follow it up by thanking her politely. The corners of her mouth quirk up a bit. Oops, Stabler didn't like that much. He puts himself in between me and her and tells me to get comfy. They leave, but I know they're behind the glass, watching to see what I'll do. I lean against the far wall and close my eyes. Fuckers.

***


	5. Chapter 5

I hear the door open again, and there are two sets of feet making noise, but one's too light and the other's too hesitant to be my brooding twin. Damn. I liked fucking with him. Keeping my eyes closed, I acknowledge the female cop, 'cause I know it throws her to be identified by her footsteps. I squint at her through one half-opened eye. The other person hasn't said anything, so maybe it's just someone Stabler's got babysitting his partner while she goes in for another whack at mean ol' me.

But then she tells me my lawyer's here, and that sure gets my attention, 'cause it's not like I've been calling anyone from in here. And whatthefuckdoyouknow… it's **Beecher**. What must be an enormous smile crawls over my face; I can't help it, it's too perfect. We stare at one another like hungry dogs lookin' at a nice, juicy steak. Faintly, I hear the door close but Toby doesn't move for another couple of minutes. This time he's staring like he's memorizing my face. And there's a bunch of stuff written right across his open, baby face: wonder, determination, **lust**. So I play it like I knew he'd be there all along, 'cause he's dressed to impress and the look in his eyes says that he could be my ticket outta here.

"'Bout time you showed up, Beecher." I keep it light, but I think I know why he's here, what spurred him to come find me.

"Oh yeah? You've been expecting me?" He asks me in this controlled tone.

I shrug. "Told you I'd see you again, Tobe." I wait patiently while he seems to relive our last goodbye. "Knew you'd come for one of us." I wink at him. "Just wasn't sure it'd be me." I drop that last bit quietly, just letting **him** know that **I** know. On cue, he flushes and his mouth falls open, then closes again just as quick.

Then he tells me the upstanding, hospitable officers aren't able to charge me with anything and we should go. Thank Christ. I know I'd do okay in jail, but it's not something I'm jonesing to try out. I shove the chair back and stand up, looming over him. But he's not looking at my face. I let my fingers trail down near my fly and oh yea, he's still my bitch. I grin at him when he realizes what he's doing, step around to his side of the table, lean down and whisper in his ear. "Or we could stay here a while longer, if that's what you really want, Toby. Jailhouse kink?"

The thought of **both** of us in jail, in the same cell, holding his body up against the bars, letting everyone know he's mine – mmm, that sends a delicious shiver down my back and it's makin' me hard.

My prey smiles weakly. "What I really want is to get out of here."

Yea, Tobe, you're not meant for prison. I mean, he even looks out of place at the station house, in his thousand-dollar suit and even more expensive watch, reminding all these cops that he's the one making the big bucks freein' dirtbags like me while they twiddle their thumbs.

I look him up and down. "Your wish is my command. Let's go."

We're standing in the hall waiting for the elevator and he's starting to look the same way he did when we met: flushed, rumpled, and thirsty. For me? 'S not like I'd discourage that kinda craving, so I keep my mouth shut and let the tension build. Then we're in some other hallway that leads away from the main entrance and I smile, 'cause I know why we're going the long way around. Anybody you're tryin' to avoid, there, Tobe?

But Beecher's strategy didn't turn out the way he'd thought it would, 'cause right up ahead of us stands Stabler, radiating anger and betrayal. Yea, he's pissed because Toby sprung me, and because he knows in his heart that this man is mine. He's gonna have to find himself another bitch to sniff around. Not my fault he didn't have what Toby needs. I don't give a shit how much he looks like me, if he thinks he's gonna get another taste, I'll let him know he's mistaken right before I kill him. Maybe I'll fuck him, too, just so he understands that there's no comparison, none at all.

Time to remind Toby of his place, too. He starts to slow down when he sees Stabler, so I lean over and whisper, "That your cop?" I pause long enough for a blush to start workin' its way up his neck. "Yea, thought so." I grin a little bigger now. He's got good taste, I'll give him that. But he's still gonna pay for this.

I'm not interested in some slap and tickle catfight though, and I walk right past the door like that sexy bastard ain't even there. I hear Tobe sighing with relief as we keep walking. Huh. Trying to hide the new boyfriend from the old? Screw that. I brush my hand down Toby's back and then onto his ass and squeeze. He squirms, but I'm not letting go. He turns his head to look at me just as I glance back over my shoulder at Stabler and smirk. Fuck you, Detective. Not yours. **Mine**.  


***

The sunshine feels good on my face and being out in the fresh air makes me want to whoop for some dumb reason. But then Toby turns on me, his face scrunched up and anger in his eyes. I guess I wasn't supposed to bait our good friend Stabler like that – I mean he is practically family now, having screwed around with Beecher. Seems Toby thinks I'm possessive, like he knows the half of it. I narrow my eyes at him. He made his choice, what's the problem? And he can't tell me he ain't happy to see me, 'cause I know what I saw in the police station, and he wouldn't be here in the first place if he wasn't.

I sling an arm over his shoulder and draw him close so he can't move away. I know deep down I've got him to thank for getting me away from the cops, so I whisper to him like a lover. **I** know he's happy to see me; I just gotta make him admit it. His fury drains away fast and he sighs loudly, sounding regretful. You're right, Tobe, it is all kinds of fucked up, but that's kinda what I like about it. Out of all the times for him to be tucked away at his place watching TV, he picked whatever channel my story was on. And that's gotta mean something.

He suggests getting something to eat and it wasn't until right then that I realized I haven't eaten in at least a day. I needle him a little, 'cause in that get-up I know he can afford to take me anywhere I wanna go.

***

I can see the gears in Toby's brain turning and clicking; he's thinking too hard about what he's doing and, more importantly, who he's walking the streets of New York with. I mean, he barely knows me, other than I'm a great fuck, and probably that I'm a dangerous guy, which isn't too far from the truth. It's not like I need him or anything, though it'd be nice to have somewhere to crash tonight and even better if it's in my attorney's bed.

I sweet talk him right into an alley and push him up against the grimy wall. His lips form a little 'o' with the impact and I lean forward and shove my tongue inside his mouth. Mmmm, **Toby**. I'd forgotten how soft his hair feels under my fingers and how kissing him makes me light-headed. I don't need reminding about how this man makes my dick hard though, so I tell him that, pressing kisses to his neck and sucking on his lips between words. Now that I've warmed him up, I reach for his cock and touch him through his pants. Either he hasn't had sex in a long time – and I can almost feel the hairs on the back of my neck bristle at the thought of anyone else touching what's mine – or he's just as caught up in whatever this is between us as I am.

Breaking off from the kiss, I stare at his face, taking in the heat showin' on his cheeks, long eyelashes and parted lips. Never thought I'd describe a man as pretty… and he's not, exactly, 'cause he's still lean and hard, and there's a glimpse of something wild in his eyes. We stare at each other until he slams himself forward and then we're kissing again, his body shivering under my hands.

Toby breaks the kiss this time to gasp out that he's happy to see me and I grin. Told ya. And now that he's said so out loud, it makes it even more real. I push my hips against his so our dicks can get reacquainted and then it's a free for all, our tongues sliding together and groping hands and Toby's breaths are short and labored. I think he might be close to coming in his five-hundred-dollar suit pants so I step back. I don't have a problem with him riding my thigh to an explosive orgasm in public, but he might see it differently; anyway, I'd rather see him shaking and moaning while lying spread-eagled on his bed.

Words come out of my mouth before I have time to make sure they're the right ones, and I actually hold my breath while he thinks about his answer, because I can list the times I've made myself vulnerable like this. I hope to hell he remembers what the fuck I'm talking about, since it's been a couple of months and why do **I** remember our first encounter with such clarity anyway? But I'm saved, because he does know, and he gifts me with a huge smile that makes me want to fuck him right here.

***

We stop under a sign that reads Union Square in big neon letters, so I'm expecting a diner or something, but inside there's honey-colored wood on the floor and the standard white tablecloths. Toby's all dressed up, so he fits right in, but I'm standin' here in jeans and a stained sweatshirt like a goddamn garbage man… and I probably reek like one, too. I'm not surprised that the hostess's expression changes when she spots me, but it does surprise me that she doesn't pull a tie out of Lost and Found for me to slip over my hoodie. And it's really no big shock that she's tight with Toby, and while I get a fake smile, he gets the real deal. She chatters at him while leading us up a couple of steps to a table by the windows, and is still jabbering even after I grab the menu from her hand. Yeah I'm cranky; I just spent all night in a little room getting harassed and tryin' to stay out of jail. Finally, Toby gets her to shut up by ordering a couple of beers and then I'm sorry she's gone, 'cause now it's too quiet.

He looks up and we study each other for a minute, and then he bites his bottom lip and shifts in his chair. I glance at the menu – which is full of words like lemon zest and ginger-mustard glaze – and notice they're getting away with charging fifteen bucks for a burger. I shrug, and then tell him to order for us; it's obvious he's been here before, so he knows what's good.

After our waiter comes back with the beers and leaves with Toby's choices, we fumble around with small talk, but mostly we just look at each other. Maybe he's trying to size me up, or acting the lawyer part, but I like the way his eyes keep skipping to my mouth. I take a long pull from the beer bottle and wink when I catch him looking. And then he splays his fingers on his napkin, plucking at the corner, a small smile tugging at his lips, and baby, it's **on**.

Next thing I know, our waiter's hovering, asking if we want dessert or coffee, and Toby's fingers are rubbing lightly on the back of my hand and neither one of us even look at the guy when Beecher asks for the check. Except I don't know where to take him, 'cause my wallet's pretty light, and I won't be getting any more cash until I get in touch with some friends… and they're not the kind of guys I want to introduce to Toby. So I have to invite myself over to his place, only make it sound like it's his idea. It's obvious he wants me; the way I've been working him up and then slowing things down's gotta come to a head sometime.

Outside, Toby hails a cab. He turns to ask me where I'm staying, and about twenty places run through my head – at a friend's, not sure yet – but when he asks, all I can muster up is a blank face and a bored shrug. He looks at me harder and then shakes his head, gives the driver an address, and pulls me into the backseat behind him.

It's not like there isn't plenty of room in the back of the cab, but our legs are pressed up close and when Toby grips my thigh, I feel a little out of control, and that never happens, no matter who I'm with. I'm fucking impressed when he tells me in a low voice that I can stay with him as long as I need, 'cause it's not like we're old buddies or nothing. Toby's either the most accepting person or the most foolish bitch on the planet. For some reason I don't wanna make him feel stupid or used, but all the same, I gotta get back into control, 'cause there's nobody to trust but me.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys go to lunch at the [ Union Square Cafe ](http://www.unionsquarecafe.com).


End file.
